Beautiful

Dear Daughter,

I miss you.  This Summer has been a blast,  but you and I both are missing or alone time together. We are struggling to make it through these last few weeks before school starts back for everyone and it is just you and me once again. The parks will be empty in the day. The neighborhoods will be quiet and. No more babysitting. We will be free again to do completely and totally as we please.

It makes me cherish our time together even more when we go through times like this when playing alone is few and far between.

I like to take that time to get to know you. Not just to live the days with you,  but to know you. I know all the little things about you.  I know you prefer blue Jean shorts to gym shorts. And dresses to jeans.  They make you feel too restricted.  I know you don't like a bathing suit that exposes your back. I know you grind your teeth in your sleep. And that you are afraid of the dark.  I know you like cold showers but hate washing you're hair.  I know you are a compassionate person and amazing friend. I know you like art and chess. But you don't like to be told how to draw. And you prefer to watch the moves the computer makes to learn strategy. Again-with the whole "being told what to do." I know you like to invent things, especially things to help animals. And you adore the newest form of Tinkerbell-a Tinker Fairy who creates things from scrap to give the animals what they need. I also know you like to spend hours in the kitchen concocting experiments to see if you can turn things blue or get them to disintegrate. But that adds to your insecurity every time you "fail." Some of the most famous people failed over and over again. They felt like failures all their lives and yet we still study them and their life changing discoveries today. Remember that, girl.  I know you like to go outside and decorate spots to worship on the ground. I know you like to pray in your head as opposed to out loud and that music and dancing is your favorite form of worship. I know you also idolize Beethoven and Vivaldi. And Rossana Pansino. You are free to do whatever you choose with your time and these are the things you pick. I know that you like your things so-so, but they never seem organized to me. An artist's mind is a hard thing to get into, but I see how your mind works. It sees beauty in everything. Even the most "evil people." It thinks of things in an abstract way and therefore does not see the same things others see in the clouds or on the streets. "Look at all those beautiful shades of green in the trees, Mommy," you say. "Those rays of sun coming from the clouds.....it is like Good is trying to tell us something...." I know you have never liked fighting. As a baby, you would cry and scream if Daddy and I would wrestle. You still do. I know you are sensitive. You hurt easy and you connect strongly. I know that you cry everytime you wake up from a nap. I know you sleep with me instead of your bedroom because you prefer the comfort of another person-anybody. I know that when you play kitchen, your feelings are hurt if nobody tries your "food." I know you like to write in your journal prayers and letters to your future sister. But sometimes you lose Hope in God's Promise to us. I know you treasure your sparkly pens and notebooks the most.  I know you get embarrassed easy, so stop picking your nose and  scratching your butt on stage. I know you bite your nails when you are nervous and you have a bad habit of waiting to the last minute to pee. At which point you begin The Dance and still don't say anything. I know you like spicy foods and signing in the car with Dad. I notice when you fall down on your bike,  the first thing you do before you get up is look around to see who saw you. The tears only come if somebody knows you fell. I know you always start jumping on the left side of your trampoline. And know you want to do everything right.  I know you want to travel and go to college for science AND art. I know you want 2 kids because 1 is not enough but 4 or 6 is too many. I know you don't like to be thrown off balance-never have-probably never will. And I know you don't like asking for things. It's rude and sounds ungreatful, you say. I know you keep a running list in your head of all the people you want to do nice things for.  I know you count in your head a lot and spell words. I know you repeat and rhyme things too. A lot goes on up there. I know you can't wrap your head around why people can be mean. And I know, to you, like me, their is an excuse for everything....I could go on. .

These are just some of the things I know about you. These are things that make you Beautiful inside and our. Your heart, soul, and mind. And I appreciate every second I get to know you more whether it is noticing which way your eyes shift when you are unsure of yourself or finding out your views on God. Beautiful.