It's January.
Oh, January. The time of year that most of us Mom's want to throw in the towel. No matter how long you have been homeschooling or how many kids you have, January seems to be the month of regret. Everybody is still tired from the holidays (or, in the case of the last 2 years, rising COVID cases). Co-ops are starting back. Activities have begun again. The weather is dreary. And Spring is OH SO far away.
But this year I don't feel that way. (Ask me again tomorrow. It may change.) I am just in awe that this is our 9th year of homeschooling! What?! In so many ways it seems longer than that. But in others it seems shorter. Am I veteran yet? Probably not since I have only been homeschooling one child the entire time. But I do like to think I have some helpful insight to some.
Nine years makes Big S 13. Highschool is right around the corner. In fact, I'm already scoping out curriculum. When we first started homeschooling we looked for bugs on the ground, took field trips to the fire station, and snuggled in bed reading books in the winter time. Okay, we still do that one. But our days look much different now. She used to spend all her days playing with her toys, which is tremendously healthy and natural. (It's what Little S does now.) Everybody told me to enjoy it, and I did-to the fullest. But I also looked forward to the day that all the unschoolers and homeschoolers talked about. The day where she found what she loved and she dug her heels in and learned everything she possibly could about it. And the days are here. She has always bounced from one interest to the next, but most of it she didn't research on her own and she surely didn't want to do anything that took real effort.
But now. Now it's so different. I recently learned that my daughter could sing. Like, sing. And all the musical skill she has been learning the last two years have finally come together. Not only can she play piano fluently and compose her own music, she can play ukelele. And she is learning violin. She can keep a great beat. She can identify pitches by ear. And did I mention she can sing? She is learning to animate with a graphic tablet, use alcohol markers, and draw realistic human faces.
She is so incredibly talented and her demeanor lightens the mood in every room. Her stage presence is spot on, and she just emits this glow about her. She is my caring creative girl who is hard on herself and equally hard on others (Maybe not a great thing, but none of us are perfect.)
Looking into the future, she is interested in Mission work. She is actively learning Spanish so she can travel to Mexico. (Today she wrote out an entire conversations between two family members just to practice. Who says they won't assign themselves their own work?) And as much as she fought it in the beginning, she is loving worldview too! And she is learning the Bible in depth, completing study after study to understand the history and meaning behind each book. Seeing the love of Jesus in her makes me wish so much I had that same passion she does when I was her age. She has had so many opportunities and influences that I did not. Honestly, I sometimes fear that the real world world be harsh on her and will shake her faith. And then I remember that's why we are equipping her. We WANT her faith to be shaken. We just don't want her to give in to the world. We want it to strengthen her.
Hour after hour. Day after day I have wondered if we are doing enough. Will she know enough? Is she learning for the long-run and and not just for memorization? Did we take advantage of the time she has with us? And in light of the recent months, I would say Yes. Absolutely Yes. Not too much and not too little. Her love of learning has become evident when she says things like, "And next I'll learn sign language, and next...." or "I can't wait to start Worldview Science." Her love for God becomes evident when she says things like, "I think everybody should know Jesus." And those were the goals. Love God and love learning. The rest will come.
Big kids are great. I have so enjoyed learning more about who she is over the last few years. But I can't forget my little. I only hope that we see the same fruits of our efforts with her. We have worked hard over the years to encourage certain behaviors (that didn't require encouraging with Big S). But character building is part of homeschooling and parenting in general. She is budding into this brilliant little girl who makes connections like crazy. She too can identify different worldviews! (Just from listening to conversations between us and between friends.) She says things like, "They think they are perfect in that movie. Don't they realize that Jesus is the only one who is perfect? Or do they not believe the Bible?" She can't put names on the worldviews yet, but she pinpoints the differences like a pro. She too has interests. Recently it is painting. She is such a perfectionist that she will paint the same picture over and over until she gets it just the way she wants it. She also loves Nature Studies we do. (Something Sam was never interested in even though she loved nature itself.) She also spends a lot of time at her nature table playing with her kinetic sand and wooden people. And she has so many sweet friendships friendships she is learning to navigate. She is my sweet and sour drama queen with a HUGE heart. She is also a social butterfly and I love her so much!!
The dynamic between the two is more than my heart can handle. It's bursting with love. When I hear my girls playing ukelele and signing songs in the bedroom my heart fills to the top with joy that the two of them have each other. When they spend hours building a Casita for their toys, I melt. When Big S sits with Little S and teaches her to draw her first realistic face, I can't believe that I have such wonderful kids.
I mourned for 4 years that I was struggling to have another child, but it was so worth the wait.
Homeschooling is mentally and emotionally hard some days, but the payoff is tremendously large. Sometimes I wish I could go to work so we could have more money or I could do something that makes an impact on more people. But it's days like to today, a January day at that, that I know the impact on the world will be large whether I go to work or stay home with these sweet girls. And I choose these girls.
