I recently read a blog post on loneliness.
And I remember those days.
Sitting in my apartment, posting on forums, and crying.
Spending my days at home with two littles-one of whom is a sibling I watched. Wanting to pull my hair out because I didn't know why they always were arguing.
And then when my brother went to school, it was just us. And we were even lonelier.
It was a hard time. Big S would cry and want to know why her friends were in school and she wasn't. I promised her next year would be better.
Because next year we would be able to start joining homeschool groups.
And it was.
That is where it all started.
Suddenly, we were no longer alone. I remember the name and face of the first person to tell me hello. Ginger. I remember very well the name and face of the first woman in the community who was my friend. Suzette. She still is my friend, whom I am forever grateful for. She is more than a friend. She is my mentor, and I love her for all that she taught me about the Bible, about homeschooling, and about life. About how to be a friend and how to love like Christ. I remember the first woman who forever changed my life when she convinced me to organize the Christmas party-OUR FIRST YEAR! Nekey. She changed me in ways she will never know. She encouraged me and led me to find where my talents lie. I cannot tell you how many events I have planned since. I remember the first time we "did life" with together. I remember the first time I spoke to a Mom of 5 who-unknown to me at the time-would lead us to the church. Rhea. The church where we worship together and do life together. The church where we have grown as a family, learned how to be better parents, and grown in our knowledge of the Bible and apologetics. The church that has grown us in smaller ways too. The church that has taught us how to potluck, taught us how to love generously, and taught us how to work out our differences.
I praise God for the numerous sisters who have come along side me through this journey that we started 11 years ago. When I think about it, when I truly ponder that, it moves me to tears. My sisters have walked with me through struggles. I have walked with them too. I have prayed with them, and they have prayed with me. Through babies, through loss, through parenting, through health issues, through sickness, through life. Some sisters are for a season. Some are for a lifetime, but I know that each of these sisters are a gift from the Lord, leading me through life and closer to Him.
Funny side note. As a homeschooler, most people imagine I see my child 24/7. That is not the case. There are so many classes/activities, so many sleepovers, so many events. There are adults who just take my oldest out and pour into her. And I LOVE it! BUT, sometimes Mom guilt sneaks in. And I think, "Maybe I don't see them enough."
Then Big S said this, "I know you raised me. You are my Mom, and I am with you most of the time. But, in some ways, I also feel like I was raised by the homeschool community." And she is so right. I think back to all the women who poured into her over the years through all the things I listed, and my heart continues to burst with thankfulness. Not only was I blessed by these ladies, but daughters have been too. There are few things more beautiful that seeing that all come full circle. We are well into highschool. I know I will blink and she will be graduating. The closer she gets, the more I see the difference it has made in her life. And I know that the same thing is happening for Little S right now. Different ladies, different lessons, different skills, different season, but all of it the same beautiful result.
My sisters. They have me.
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On another note, I am SOOOO proud of both Big S and Little S! They are both moving on up in age and accomplishing SOOOO much.
I'll start with Little S because Big S always ends up going first. Here is the short of it. A few weeks ago she decided she wanted to read. Now she does. That was that. She decided that it was going to be beneficial to her if she wanted to do certain things, so she started putting in the effort. Before I knew it, she was reading words that she never learned the "rules" for. Just like Big S. It has been so neat to watch her grow into a big girl, to see her act more like a young lady. She is kind and sweet, but not afraid to stand up for herself in a polite way. She is a good friend, and she loves God and others with everything in her. She has INCREDIBLE questions. Her brain makes connections easily. She is very academic. AND she is also musical. She began playing piano this year and will start music classes in the fall. This has been a new season of life. We have spent the last 15 years in the "baby stage" because of how far apart they are, and I must say I see why people knock out the baby stage all at once now! Do I miss having a baby? Yes. Do I love this season? ABSOLUTELY!
Now on to Big S. Parenting a teen has been such a joy! I have loved seeing Big S explore her interests, form her own deeper friendships, and ask questions that she never considered before. She is applying all that she has learned over the years, and I have really enjoyed the late night talks and bonding (even though some of it has been through tears and hard lessons.) This weekend we will be staying up until midnight and waiting for the cast list release for her acting group. Why is that? Because she auditioned to be in an ensemble this year. She has spent months studying the show they will be doing, learning the plot line and historical background. She has learned how to sing operettic music. She has a beautiful voice. Her stage presence is ON POINT, and her positive attitude is contagious! Her audition went REALLY well, but it is HIGHLY competitive. She received great feedback, and those judges don't mince words, so I am confident it was sincere. However, again...only the best get it. And you have the be the whole package. So we sha'll see.
These years are so different, but no less joy filled than the baby and toddler years. In fact, I enjoy being able to soak it in without being exhausted.
In the next few weeks we will be starting our new schedule for school (since we never really stop). While Little S will have music class, we are swapping with another Mom who will take Big S to a nursing home to volunteer during craft time and BINGO. And Little S will have a friend to attend music with her and do nature walks, like a miniature co-op. It's gonna be a good one, this year. It always is.
