Unschool-ology

Unschool-ology
Unschooling: Living Without School; Living Free Range-Freedom to Learn What One Wants When One Wants

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Relaxed School's Cool

I lost my passion.

My zeal for unschooling.

It's hard.

Seriously.

You don't have anybody to tell you what to teach and how to teach it. You constantly deal with outside pressures. And you have to always be available and ready to have adventures or be a mentor at the drop of a hat. It's the ideal education, in my opinion, to follow your interests and spend time diving into them. That is what we do as adults. But it. is. hard.

So when Sara was born, I lost that drive. She kept me drained of every bit of energy I had before. Then the girls moved in right as Sara was becoming a little easier. And then I was focused on getting them to and from school and somehow getting Sara a nap in before we left to pick them up. This meant life as we knew it was on pause. Our little outings or 6 hour days spent reading seemed impossible. I was spent-from driving everywhere, from listening to crying all day from a tired baby, from trying to meet everyone's emotional needs-which were at an all time high in this house. And then all the other usual stuff. Double the laundry. Double the cooking. Don't get me wrong. I love them all. They are ALL worth every minute. I tried to stay positive a majority of the time. We did devotionals together, backyard camped on the weekends, played games, had movie nights. They helped me bake and cook. In the summer we took weekly trips somewhere fun.  And that's what took all my energy. The moment my head hit the pillow, I was done. (My poor Husband.) The plan was to get them to bed and spend time with him, but I was out by 9:30. Never failed.

This "Fall," after some changes and much prayer about anxieties, I am feeling renewed. Little S is almost 2 years old. She can handle a few hours out of the house without a complete meltdown, especially if she is in nature. That has been our main focus this year-getting connected with nature. Three days a week we go on a hike or nature walk and spend at least 6 hours outside. We dont do anything structured. We explore. Or the girls play. I watch. We breath in fresh air. We touch soil with our hands. We garden. We jump on the trampoline. Collect nature. We listen to sounds. And Big S now takes photographs. The other 4 days during the week, we sound 3 hours or so outside,  but don't usually go on a nature walk or anything particularly special. We are just being-outside. In the hammocks or riding bikes or drawing with chalk. Nature is an important aspect when connecting with God. And as a bonus, I'd love for my children to  know the life cycles of lots of things-not just butterflies. I'd love for my girls to show their kids how to rub plantain on a bug bite or show them the dry seasons vs. wet seasons when looking at the rings on a tree. Little S loves it so much, and Big S recently found a more grown up way to get into nature.  (More grown up way than picking up sticks and rocks and collecting them in a basket.) She loves nature's beauty. She loves the way that-when we sit in the driveway and play games on a blanket-the sun peaks around the house and shines brightly on the trees. She loves the butterflies when they land on flowers. She loves the way that the clouds always look different. She loves to draw,  but there is something about a photograph that really does it for her. She captures the perfection at its peak. And she can draw it later. It was so satisfying last weekend when we took an impromptu trip to the store to find a camera she liked. She found a used one-with a warranty. She went a little older (a 2009) but got a great deal for a beginner. There, in the store, I helped her research her camera choices-and she finally settled on a Canon PowerShot. They had just gotten it in and it hadn't even been put out on display yet. She was over the moon. She spent her hard earned money from her business on it, and she said it wwas worth every penny. She loves that little camera. She takes it with us on nature outings. She takes photos of her baked goods for her business-which is still going strong after a year. She makes anywhere from $30- $50 a month. Not bad considering we only order from her during the slow months-which are usually the months with no holidays or fresh fruits in season. Anyway, back to the camera, in the weeks coming, we are going to take outings to places where she can photograph Chattanooga from an overlook to model her train town after. Big S has a lot going on, and I'm so happy to be back in the game with her, looking up videos and taking both the girls fun places. I've missed this kind of education.

And while I'm thinking we arent exactly unschoolers, because we do math, we are definitely relaxed schoolers. If she doesn't like that math, we will look into a new one. If she doesn't want to do her Discover 4 Yourself  Bible, we will figure out another way to learn it. We are open to different possibilities and flexible in  schedule, and will always be that way to give both girls time for adventure and discovery. But I also realize, math is a must in this world, and the Bible is essential to knowing God.

Side Notes: We just finished an excellent read aloud-the 3rd book in the Narnia Series, "The Horse and His Boy." Next, Prince Caspian!
And lastly, serving is something I want to model to my girls and teach them to do as well. I try to show them how to serve even in the smallest situations, like cleaning up when a friend leaves or bringing a plate to someone else. But I also want them  know how to serve in larger capacities. Big S tried to advertise for free "Mothers Helper" services for foster Moms. She has developed a passion for children in general, but also children in foster care specifically. So far, lots have said they are interested, but nobody has nailed down dates with us. With everything going on, we are not ready to commit to volunteering at an entity weekly, so Big S is serving at the library when I take Little S to storytime-her idea. She cuts things out. She colors decorations. She cleans. She organizes books. Soon she will read aloud to the kids there. (In the past, she also taught a kitchen science class.) But the best part was hearing her say to me last week, "Mrs. Shannon already lets me volunteer, and I am so thankful for that, so I won't ask her for a different pair of scissors." The point was not that she would rather suffer than ask for scissors. In fact, I told her it would be fine to ask for bigger ones. The point is that she felt like it was a blessing to be serving, and that was enough to make my Mom heart sing with joy!

I love relaxed schooling. I love that I can tell her to forget her math that day if she wants to spend time looking up videos on photography. And if we don't read our read aloud for 3 days, no big deal. The only thing that matters in relaxed schooling-as with unschooling-is making sure we prioritize our time. We aren't always on the go. There is down time for play and discovery. We aren't going to every event available to homeschoolers just because it is free, but only if there is a genuine interest. As long as we are evaluating our actions, everything else will fall into place.

Friday, September 7, 2018

Things Change

It is the beginning of the schoolyear, and I am meeting so many new homeschool Moms. At this point-6 years-I'm considered a veteran Mom. I'm beginning to realize a majority of those major beginning homeschooling decisions are behind me. Do we homeschool?  What does that look like?  What curriculum do we use? What major activities do we attend every year? (Curriculum Fair, Homeschool Day at McKay....) Now I'm talking relaxed curriculums to overwhelmed Moms, and giving advice on how to keep going when a new baby comes in the mix. (You don't! Ha Ha Ha!) There are a few women that I talked to around our 3rd year of homeschooling who were on the fence about actually going forward with not enrolling in Kindergarten. Since then, they have found their own little niches and become somewhat seasoned themselves. At the very least, they are not insecure about what they are doing anymore. I have seen babies enter Kindergarten, and kids that were my daughter's age when we started get their learners permit. I have even seen kids that were in middle school graduate. Every year when we attend a CHEA event, I can't believe how big the kids have gotten. (I have seen some boys grow their first mustaches!) Ah. My heart pains me as I realize my own child is about to start looking like a young lady herself.

Plus, my Facebook keeps reminding me of all our "Beginning of the Year Shenanigans" from the past, like the year we read our first Chapter Book Read Aloud, "Charlotte's Web." It also showed me pictures of the year we took Samantha "school supply shopping" so that she could feel cool like the other kids.

On top of That, I've started "lessons" with Sara. Montessori based. Fun activities to teach independence, fine motor skills, etc. I made busy bags for restaurants and other outings. And bought supplies to make sensory games. You know, the basics: beans, shaving cream, measuring cups, a giant plastic tub, etc.

And it makes me SO nostalgic. Because things change, kids grow up, and things get more complicated. I remember doing our "Healthy Earth" unit when Big S was 2. We read a book on recycling, went outside and picked up trash, and cooked a healthy meal with lots of vegetables. I remember raising butterflies and watching the wonder in her eyes grow. I remember the "Human Body" unit when she was 4. We colored a giant poster where I had traced my body and labeled the organ systems. We put red water in one side of the sink, and blue in the other to symbolize blood in the heart. We read countless books stuffed with information. It was all for fun. No worries. Play dates were plenty, and nothing else mattered.

I remember joining her first homeschool activities, and desperately trying to make friends. I remember coming to our first CHEA Event and both of us saying, "This is the group for us." I remember having time to attend pretty much every single event they held for elementary. I remember reading the CHEA Minutes religiously. (Now I can barely find time to post a question on the forum, let alone carefully read 6 pages on what decisions the group made this month.) I remember homeschool gymnastics at the local college, and being able to show up an hour before class and practice reading in the lobby.

Now it's pick and choose at this age. We can't go to it all, and we need to make sure we are home to have enough down time for Big S to make creations, and also give Little S lots of playtime. Of course on the other hand, we need to provide Big S enough time with friends. (So we recently started allowing texting on her tablet! But of course, it costs "tickets" if she wants to binge text. And she sometimes goes out with friends without me being there like I used to. Guess that is part of growing up.)

I don't know what I'm getting at here. I guess I'm looking at all these old photos and seeing all these old posts and missing the Good 'ole Days, when things were less complicated.  Then again, maybe I'm just remembering it that way.

Whatever it is, I'm feeling a little lost this year. CHEA is changing. (I'm apparently not the only one who feels that way.) We had several families that didn't come back. I meant the group isn't even allowing playdates on the calendar. A group of moms got together and decided to schedule playdates, and just communicate them over Facebook.  Big S isn't in any other activities (aside from AHG)  as of now because of some scheduling issues. She lost the ability to see some of her best friends when they moved away, and she had a hard time moving on for almost a year after. Luckily, while she is still in close contact with them, she has found some close friends in the area as well. But I'm having a hard time finding my place since my sisters got here. We can't attend as much, and we honestly don't receive as much support as I thought we would in a community that holds caring for children to such a high standard. And I know it is because everyone is busy, but we also have some friends that seem to shy away from us too. We do receive a lot support from our AHG Troop. They have been great. They ask about the girls all the time. They allowed them in the troop despite the guidelines. They even stocked our cabinets with groceries when they first got here and we didn't have any help. They. Are. Amazing. But we aren't close enough with any of them for them to call and say, "Hey. How are your sisters? Can we pray for them? How is Sam doing?" They ask when I see them, but that's about as personal as it gets.Sometimes I feel like, even though I am getting closer to my 30s, that age gap still creates a barrier in some ways.

We joined a new group called Wild and Free. The take monthly hikes and have monthly Mom's Night Out, along with some nature based Field Trips. Maybe that will be the place God wants us through this season. We went hiking with them last week. I enjoyed talking with some of the Moms. S had a hard time figuring out where she fit into the puzzle as she warmed up to the other kids. She has agreed to give it another chance, as she was not miserable. She just...felt awkward.

I am just going to keep praying.


Things are settling down here. Everything is about to come to a peak and then really calm down. The house is quiet most of the day. We started our year off strong with a heavy focus on nature. We take nature walks several times a week, always in the early morning. It is a nice family activity and gets us noticing and identifying different species. Sara toddles along and gathers things in her basket. (Although, she is very picky.) Sometimes she rides in my pouch. And S and I look intently at the random happenings we find in nature (like a caterpillar climbing into a spider's web) and listen to the sounds. It is a nice and peaceful time, before the heat begins beating down. It really sets the tone for the day. On the days that we don't have a nature walk, we have morning time. (We pulled the name for it from a Charlotte Mason Method book I am reading, but basically we have always done this.) We start our day our with our family read aloud (Which is currently The Horse and His Boy, the third book in the Narnia series. We took a break. Now we are back.) And then she either does math or Bible. Of course I am available to help. Then we go about our day. Right now, S is studying how to build a train village and working on a menu for her baking business. Yesterday her and Sara spent a good chunk of the day working on a cardboard house. (Little S mostly scribbled on it and played in it, but Big S put more detailed pictures on it, made door handles, and had me cut out a window and a door.) Lunchtime is the last of our school day. That is when we listen to our Story of the World CD, but that does not take long-about 7 minutes for a chapter. Both math and history can be done on the go now, so I don't fret as much when we have outside stuff to do, as long as it is not errands. I mean things like the last minute trip we took to the aquarium a few weeks ago or Homeschool Day at High Point. Overall, the year is going well. But things are changing at is has me a little sad inside. I need to keep reminding myself that these years will bring the same joys as the ones before, just in a different way.