2020 Year

 It all blurs together really. 

Time. 

Especially this year in the midst of the COVID pandemic. 

And this year I am not ready for change.

I'm scared actually. 

That if Fall comes, other things will change. 

And to be honest, I'm taking reality in doses right now. 

It has been laid on my heart that the years blissful ignorance or over and my eyes have been opened to the evils of the world. 

I'm not talking conspiracies. In fact, I have stayed away from the news. 

I'm talking about the true, heart wrenching realization that there is more going on in the world than we have going on inside these 4 walls. 

And something must be done. 

So it is only a matter of time before we have to go from living our typical American lives to putting ourselves in uncomfortable places and doing the work we are called to do. 

Right now is a time of growth though. So we have all resolved to spend this next season of life educating ourselves. All of us. On God. On His will for our lives. On the things that we were just allowing to happen around us without so much as a tiny bit of thought. 

As we move forward with that, we still strive to keep a love of learning alive in Big S. So although we are unschooling still-in that she has some control over her education-she has picked some things she wants to formally learn (like writing and logic) and we will be going forward with that. 

I have to say that I am quite excited about her new books because they will require her to stretch her mind beyond what she knows and beyond what I could teach her myself. Her math is a Christian Worldview curriculum that explains God's consistencies in math. It starts with elementary concepts and moves all the way through Algebra explaining how you can literally see God work through all of it! Writing was good. Nothing spectacular but will give her a good base for public speaking next year which she wants to do to help with acting. And her logic book will be something we do together as a family. It teaches how to identify false logic such as red herrings and propaganda. I think now more than ever it is important for her to learn that. Seeing all the chaos in the country when all of this happened, I feel like learning to identify false logic will assist her in living without fear and not allowing Satan to get a stronghold on her as she grows older. 

She will still have Bible, History, reading, and piano (all her choice as well)-but those are nothing new. Her and I are working through the Little House series and she has recently become engrossed in "Bud, Not Buddy." 

Watching her learn piano over the last year had been heartwarming. Especially when I found out that she would be assisting in church worship soon. I just pray that these are the things that will stay with her forever. That she will realize the significance behind it. 

I will also be doing some of my own learning. I have courses on government, psychology, vegetable gardening, and church history. 

Jessie will be focusing on getting an IT Cert. For work and putting a lot of energy in ministry as he enters his first year as youth pastor. 

We have a lot to look forward to in the months to come as we learn how to live this life during war-times. 

I can't sit idol. God did not call me to be idol and all the cleaning I have done in the last 9 months has done the kingdom no good. 

So here goes nothing....

It Is Finished

My heart is bursting with joy.

It is heavy with happiness for my Husband and for our family.

I have too many blessings to count.

But most recently it is because my Husband just graduated college and started a new job on the same day.

That's right. We got married in high school, almost 11 years ago, and 8 of those years one of us has been in school full time. Now it is finally over.

I may go to college one day, because I would love counsel when my children leave the house. And he has talked about seminary. (Lord, help us if he goes!) But the most important thing is that we no longer have to deal with school as an "only means to move forward."

He worked at Comcast almost all of his adult working life, and we knew that nothing would get him out of the field, out of manual labor, and pay as well as Comcast without a degree. So he went to school.

Every Sunday was devoted to schoolwork-and many evenings after work were spent trying to get motivated to complete assignments. I will never understand the amount of energy and drive it took him just complete each assignment after working 40-55 hours a week (sometimes more if he was traveling).

Many weeks he drug his feet and during the last year, he caught Senioritis and began skipping assignments here and there, but he did it.

And I am SO proud of him.

He landed a job nearby our house working IT with a promise that if he meets their expectations that they will move him into the brand new cyber security division when they get it up and running later in the year.

It is a stable company that has been around years and years. Amazing benefits. Pay is comparable to what he was making minus the overtime. And they are family and community oriented. (Volunteer projects, we can go eat lunch with him at the office, he can keep the girls for up to 2 hours if I need to go somewhere without them, etc.).

My heart is full. More time with my Husband AND he will finally be doing something that he is happy doing. No more dragging the ground exhausted because he just worked 10 hours out in the heat that day. No more soaking wet freezing cold boots dragging the floor when he gets home, just wanting to get under the covers because it's cold.

There will be challenges. And hard days. Who knows, probably some office politics. But he is moving forward and he is nervous-but happy to be out of his office on wheels.

It's funny. We always thought, "You won't know what to do with all your free time once you finish school."

It is already filling up fast. With good things of course, but I am having to remind him of balance.

One thing I never want to forget is that we are a family and family time is a priority. Our weeks together are numbered and they go by too fast. Mondays used to be reserved as a family day for us, which was much easier to do than reserving a Saturday will be because everybody wants to hang out and do things on the weekends. I'm a little worried, but balance will just need to be a priority.

I can see God's hand in this. The story being woven is beautiful, and I am praying that this will lead into a place where we can build our relationship with each other and with God and use it for His purpose.

That is the biggest reason why my heart is full.