Things Change

It is the beginning of the schoolyear, and I am meeting so many new homeschool Moms. At this point-6 years-I'm considered a veteran Mom. I'm beginning to realize a majority of those major beginning homeschooling decisions are behind me. Do we homeschool?  What does that look like?  What curriculum do we use? What major activities do we attend every year? (Curriculum Fair, Homeschool Day at McKay....) Now I'm talking relaxed curriculums to overwhelmed Moms, and giving advice on how to keep going when a new baby comes in the mix. (You don't! Ha Ha Ha!) There are a few women that I talked to around our 3rd year of homeschooling who were on the fence about actually going forward with not enrolling in Kindergarten. Since then, they have found their own little niches and become somewhat seasoned themselves. At the very least, they are not insecure about what they are doing anymore. I have seen babies enter Kindergarten, and kids that were my daughter's age when we started get their learners permit. I have even seen kids that were in middle school graduate. Every year when we attend a CHEA event, I can't believe how big the kids have gotten. (I have seen some boys grow their first mustaches!) Ah. My heart pains me as I realize my own child is about to start looking like a young lady herself.

Plus, my Facebook keeps reminding me of all our "Beginning of the Year Shenanigans" from the past, like the year we read our first Chapter Book Read Aloud, "Charlotte's Web." It also showed me pictures of the year we took Samantha "school supply shopping" so that she could feel cool like the other kids.

On top of That, I've started "lessons" with Sara. Montessori based. Fun activities to teach independence, fine motor skills, etc. I made busy bags for restaurants and other outings. And bought supplies to make sensory games. You know, the basics: beans, shaving cream, measuring cups, a giant plastic tub, etc.

And it makes me SO nostalgic. Because things change, kids grow up, and things get more complicated. I remember doing our "Healthy Earth" unit when Big S was 2. We read a book on recycling, went outside and picked up trash, and cooked a healthy meal with lots of vegetables. I remember raising butterflies and watching the wonder in her eyes grow. I remember the "Human Body" unit when she was 4. We colored a giant poster where I had traced my body and labeled the organ systems. We put red water in one side of the sink, and blue in the other to symbolize blood in the heart. We read countless books stuffed with information. It was all for fun. No worries. Play dates were plenty, and nothing else mattered.

I remember joining her first homeschool activities, and desperately trying to make friends. I remember coming to our first CHEA Event and both of us saying, "This is the group for us." I remember having time to attend pretty much every single event they held for elementary. I remember reading the CHEA Minutes religiously. (Now I can barely find time to post a question on the forum, let alone carefully read 6 pages on what decisions the group made this month.) I remember homeschool gymnastics at the local college, and being able to show up an hour before class and practice reading in the lobby.

Now it's pick and choose at this age. We can't go to it all, and we need to make sure we are home to have enough down time for Big S to make creations, and also give Little S lots of playtime. Of course on the other hand, we need to provide Big S enough time with friends. (So we recently started allowing texting on her tablet! But of course, it costs "tickets" if she wants to binge text. And she sometimes goes out with friends without me being there like I used to. Guess that is part of growing up.)

I don't know what I'm getting at here. I guess I'm looking at all these old photos and seeing all these old posts and missing the Good 'ole Days, when things were less complicated.  Then again, maybe I'm just remembering it that way.

Whatever it is, I'm feeling a little lost this year. CHEA is changing. (I'm apparently not the only one who feels that way.) We had several families that didn't come back. I meant the group isn't even allowing playdates on the calendar. A group of moms got together and decided to schedule playdates, and just communicate them over Facebook.  Big S isn't in any other activities (aside from AHG)  as of now because of some scheduling issues. She lost the ability to see some of her best friends when they moved away, and she had a hard time moving on for almost a year after. Luckily, while she is still in close contact with them, she has found some close friends in the area as well. But I'm having a hard time finding my place since my sisters got here. We can't attend as much, and we honestly don't receive as much support as I thought we would in a community that holds caring for children to such a high standard. And I know it is because everyone is busy, but we also have some friends that seem to shy away from us too. We do receive a lot support from our AHG Troop. They have been great. They ask about the girls all the time. They allowed them in the troop despite the guidelines. They even stocked our cabinets with groceries when they first got here and we didn't have any help. They. Are. Amazing. But we aren't close enough with any of them for them to call and say, "Hey. How are your sisters? Can we pray for them? How is Sam doing?" They ask when I see them, but that's about as personal as it gets.Sometimes I feel like, even though I am getting closer to my 30s, that age gap still creates a barrier in some ways.

We joined a new group called Wild and Free. The take monthly hikes and have monthly Mom's Night Out, along with some nature based Field Trips. Maybe that will be the place God wants us through this season. We went hiking with them last week. I enjoyed talking with some of the Moms. S had a hard time figuring out where she fit into the puzzle as she warmed up to the other kids. She has agreed to give it another chance, as she was not miserable. She just...felt awkward.

I am just going to keep praying.


Things are settling down here. Everything is about to come to a peak and then really calm down. The house is quiet most of the day. We started our year off strong with a heavy focus on nature. We take nature walks several times a week, always in the early morning. It is a nice family activity and gets us noticing and identifying different species. Sara toddles along and gathers things in her basket. (Although, she is very picky.) Sometimes she rides in my pouch. And S and I look intently at the random happenings we find in nature (like a caterpillar climbing into a spider's web) and listen to the sounds. It is a nice and peaceful time, before the heat begins beating down. It really sets the tone for the day. On the days that we don't have a nature walk, we have morning time. (We pulled the name for it from a Charlotte Mason Method book I am reading, but basically we have always done this.) We start our day our with our family read aloud (Which is currently The Horse and His Boy, the third book in the Narnia series. We took a break. Now we are back.) And then she either does math or Bible. Of course I am available to help. Then we go about our day. Right now, S is studying how to build a train village and working on a menu for her baking business. Yesterday her and Sara spent a good chunk of the day working on a cardboard house. (Little S mostly scribbled on it and played in it, but Big S put more detailed pictures on it, made door handles, and had me cut out a window and a door.) Lunchtime is the last of our school day. That is when we listen to our Story of the World CD, but that does not take long-about 7 minutes for a chapter. Both math and history can be done on the go now, so I don't fret as much when we have outside stuff to do, as long as it is not errands. I mean things like the last minute trip we took to the aquarium a few weeks ago or Homeschool Day at High Point. Overall, the year is going well. But things are changing at is has me a little sad inside. I need to keep reminding myself that these years will bring the same joys as the ones before, just in a different way.