Things I Don't Like About Homeschool

Well, we've been at it going on 13 years, and I finally found something I don't like. Two somethings, actually. 

1. Friendships CAN be hard for your kids to maintain when they are young if you are not close to the parents. (However, maybe I should correct this to say, "Things I don't like about homeschool if you don't do a co-op.") So many families are busy with this and that, so if you aren't close to the Mom, it's hard to ask them to take time out of their schedule to get together. Thankfully, Little S has plenty of friendships between the church and the Moms I am close to. However, there is one particular little girl from a large family that she really enjoys being around from when she was younger, but we are not close and we are no longer in the same community. It's hard to navigate situations like that. 

Something similar happened with Big S when she was little. We were very close to the parents of one of her friends. Then one day, they literally said, "We have too much going on. We don't have time for playdates anymore." And that was that. Big S never hung out with that friend again. That was 8 years ago. 

It's a minor inconvenience. I imagine it might be difficult to navigate friendships outside of school too,  it's still a thing I don't like.  

2. You have to look for extra opportunities to give your child independence. (And some moms don't have the desire to do so. In those cases you appear to be a neglectful parent.) Like when your teen organizes their own coffee meet ups and sleepovers and you don't ever even talk to the parent. Some Moms appreciate this. Others, not so much. Or when you say, "Hey. I was gonna drop her at Panera on Wednesdays to let her do her own thing. She would love if so n so could also come hang out and they can do work together." And they are like, "WHAT? ALONE? But they are only 15!"

Now, I was not 15 that long ago, but I remember walking here and there down the road ALL BY MYSELF at that age. We were home alone all Summer. We walked to see friends, to go to the pool, or just to rent a movie. (Maybe I am dating myself a bit here. It was right in the tail end of the movie rental store era.)

And you know, that may or may not be how I ended up with Big S, but that's neither her nor there. Sometimes I am concerned about Big S's lack of interest in doing anything remotely risky. It feels like a right of passage to make dumb decisions now instead of later. But then, maybe I am wrong. 

I am there during the day. I am there at night. I am there volunteering at camps and classes because that is what is needed to make things run. Because I am not gone every single day for 8 hours during Summer break and she hasn't been navigating the school hallways alone since she was 5 years old, I have to intentional figure out ways to give that independence. It begins with being home alone, navigating the church without your parents, going outside on your own to walk the neighborhood. At some point though, it leads to taking up volunteer opportunities on your own, riding with friends to the restaurant after acting class, and taking yourself to your own activities. Sometimes that all just doesn't seem like enough. 

Again, a minor inconvenience that I actually think is a generational issue and not just homeschoolers. Parents are terrified of the world. I can be overbearing sometimes too, but my desire to have her be a functioning adult one day overrides that fear a majority of the time. I have seen too many before mine (homeschooled and not homeschooled alike), that are so lost after graduation. It's actually alarming. These days, to counter that, I feel myself overcompensating and almost pushing the bird out of the nest. 😂 

After this many years, I can honestly say I could list things I love about homeschooling all night. I know my girls could too. Since that's the case, I know we made the right decision for our family. But, for the sake of transparency, THOSE are my 2 downsides. 

Just Add...

 Water. 

That's parenting advice I once got. Apparently it's a thing circling around on the Internet. Water helps us process through our emotions. It helps to hydrate us. It brings joy to an otherwise monotonous day. 

I would say this has rung true through the years-even before I was told this "parenting hack." Headache? Drink some water? Hungry? Drink some water first. Sad? Take a bath. Baby getting into everything? Fill a bin with water and give her some measuring cups and spoons. Not sure what to do with all the many kids that come to the house in the summer time? You can bet your bottom dollar it'll involve water. 

But if there is one more thing I would say, it would be "Just add....a good read aloud." Need to learn a lesson in thankfulness? Read "A Long Walk to Water." Need to build your faith? Read "My Hands Came Away Red " Have the winter blues? Find several new books and put them on hold at the library. It'll give you something to look forward to in the cold months ahead. Just want to grow closer to a friend? Read "Navigating Early." 

Yes. A good read aloud is never a waste of time. A story shared is an experience weathered together...We look forward to each and every one. 

What a Blessing it has Been to Homeschool

 We are inching in. 

The time is almost here. 

To graduate my first. 

Okay, we have a few years left, but...

How? 

I would say it seems like yesterday that she was just a baby, but it actually doesn't. 

The time didn't drag by, but I didn't exactly blink either. 

And I think part of that is because I soaked in as many minutes as humanly possible. 

What a blessing it has been to homeschool. 

Not all years are the same. 

Some are better than others. 

Some years I feel more encouraged. 

Some years I feel more creative than others. 

Some years I had more energy. 

Some years I was just tired. 

But what a blessing it has been to homeschool. 

The way we have learned together. 

The things we have learned together. 

The many, many opportunities to learn-

Whether is be academic or character building. 

The communities we have had the honor of being part of. 

The lasting friendships we have gleaned from each one. 

The difference that each person has made in our lives. 

The growth in each our lives. 

What a blessing it has been to homeschool. 

The smell of the fall weather renewing my spirit and filling my head with new ideas. 

The winter, when we all begin to question what we are doing, but all the while curling up together in bed most mornings and reading books and cherishing each moment. 

The spring, never coming too soon, which renews me again, giving me big ideas of field trips and nature walks. 

And the Summer, always bringing a steady rotation of kids in and out of the house. 

What a blessing it has been to homeschool. 

I can't imagine where I would be if we hadn't. 

I can't imagine where my girls would be. 

Where our family would be. 

The many twists and turns out lives have taken simply because we chose to homeschool. 

Yet, though she is graduating in a few short years, we still have many years left with Little S. 

It feels like we have been a part of this community for so many years, looking back and remembering the way things "used to be." Wearing my Veteran pin at the curriculum fair. Catching up with all the many women who have touched my life in the last 11 years. 

But I guess, in a way, we are just getting started. With Little S only in 1st grade, we have many years to go. I wonder what we will learn as the years pass by. What new adventures we will take. Will it even end 2034? Will it end earlier? The thought of ever leaving this community makes me shutter. 

I have so many aspirations outside of homeschooling, some of which I am able to do because we homeschool. But the thought of THIS ministry coming to an end....The thought of going back to homeschooling only one....feels bleak.

I am praying and praying for a grateful heart. 

I am praying and praying to remember what a blessing it has been to homeschool. 

What a blessing it has really been. 

I Have You, Sister and Parent Brag

I recently read a blog post on loneliness. 

And I remember those days. 

Sitting in my apartment, posting on forums, and crying. 

Spending my days at home with two littles-one of whom is a sibling I watched. Wanting to pull my hair out because I didn't know why they always were arguing. 

And then when my brother went to school, it was just us. And we were even lonelier. 

It was a hard time. Big S would cry and want to know why her friends were in school and she wasn't. I promised her next year would be better. 

Because next year we would be able to start joining homeschool groups. 

And it was. 

That is where it all started. 

Suddenly, we were no longer alone. I remember the name and face of the first person to tell me hello. Ginger. I remember very well the name and face of the first woman in the community who was my friend. Suzette. She still is my friend, whom I am forever grateful for. She is more than a friend. She is my mentor, and I love her for all that she taught me about the Bible, about homeschooling, and about life. About how to be a friend and how to love like Christ. I remember the first woman who forever changed my life when she convinced me to organize the Christmas party-OUR FIRST YEAR! Nekey. She changed me in ways she will never know. She encouraged me and led me to find where my talents lie. I cannot tell you how many events I have planned since. I remember the first time we "did life" with together. I remember the first time I spoke to a Mom of 5 who-unknown to me at the time-would lead us to the church. Rhea. The church where we worship together and do life together. The church where we have grown as a family, learned how to be better parents, and grown in our knowledge of the Bible and apologetics. The church that has grown us in smaller ways too. The church that has taught us how to potluck, taught us how to love generously, and taught us how to work out our differences. 

I praise God for the numerous sisters who have come along side me through this journey that we started 11 years ago. When I think about it, when I truly ponder that, it moves me to tears. My sisters have walked with me through struggles. I have walked with them too. I have prayed with them, and they have prayed with me. Through babies, through loss, through parenting, through health issues, through sickness, through life. Some sisters are for a season. Some are for a lifetime, but I know that each of these sisters are a gift from the Lord, leading me through life and closer to Him. 

Funny side note. As a homeschooler, most people imagine I see my child 24/7. That is not the case. There are so many classes/activities, so many sleepovers, so many events. There are adults who just take my oldest out and pour into her. And I LOVE it! BUT, sometimes Mom guilt sneaks in. And I think, "Maybe I don't see them enough." 

Then Big S said this, "I know you raised me. You are my Mom, and I am with you most of the time. But, in some ways, I also feel like I was raised by the homeschool community." And she is so right. I think back to all the women who poured into her over the years through all the things I listed, and my heart continues to burst with thankfulness. Not only was I blessed by these ladies, but daughters have been too. There are few things more beautiful that seeing that all come full circle. We are well into highschool. I know I will blink and she will be graduating. The closer she gets, the more I see the difference it has made in her life. And I know that the same thing is happening for Little S right now. Different ladies, different lessons, different skills, different season, but all of it the same beautiful result. 

My sisters. They have me. 

**********************************************************

On another note, I am SOOOO proud of both Big S and Little S! They are both moving on up in age and accomplishing SOOOO much. 

I'll start with Little S because Big S always ends up going first. Here is the short of it. A few weeks ago she decided she wanted to read. Now she does. That was that. She decided that it was going to be beneficial to her if she wanted to do certain things, so she started putting in the effort. Before I knew it, she was reading words that she never learned the "rules" for. Just like Big S. It has been so neat to watch her grow into a big girl, to see her act more like a young lady. She is kind and sweet, but not afraid to stand up for herself in a polite way. She is a good friend, and she loves God and others with everything in her. She has INCREDIBLE questions. Her brain  makes connections easily. She is very academic. AND she is also musical. She began playing piano this year and will start music classes in the fall. This has been a new season of life. We have spent the last 15 years in the "baby stage" because of how far apart they are, and I must say I see why people knock out the baby stage all at once now! Do I miss having a baby? Yes. Do I love this season? ABSOLUTELY! 

Now on to Big S. Parenting a teen has been such a joy! I have loved seeing Big S explore her interests, form her own deeper friendships, and ask questions that she never considered before. She is applying all that she has learned over the years, and I have really enjoyed the late night talks and bonding (even though some of it has been through tears and hard lessons.) This weekend we will be staying up until midnight and waiting for the cast list release for her acting group. Why is that? Because she auditioned to be in an ensemble this year. She has spent months studying the show they will be doing, learning the plot line and historical background. She has learned how to sing operettic music. She has a beautiful voice. Her stage presence is ON POINT, and her positive attitude is contagious! Her audition went REALLY well, but it is HIGHLY competitive. She received great feedback, and those judges don't mince words, so I am confident it was sincere. However, again...only the best get it. And you have the be the whole package. So we sha'll see. 

These years are so different, but no less joy filled than the baby and toddler years. In fact, I enjoy being able to soak it in without being exhausted. 

In the next few weeks we will be starting our new schedule for school (since we never really stop). While Little S will have music class, we are swapping with another Mom who will take Big S to a nursing home to volunteer during craft time and BINGO. And Little S will have a friend to attend music with her and do nature walks, like a miniature co-op. It's gonna be a good one, this year. It always is. 

Homeschool January

It's January. 

Oh, January. The time of year that most of us Mom's want to throw in the towel. No matter how long you have been homeschooling or how many kids you have, January seems to be the month of regret. Everybody is still tired from the holidays (or, in the case of the last 2 years,  rising COVID cases). Co-ops are starting back. Activities have begun again. The weather is dreary. And Spring is OH SO far away. 

But this year I don't feel that way. (Ask me again tomorrow. It may change.) I am just in awe that this is our 9th year of homeschooling! What?! In so many ways it seems longer than that. But in others it seems shorter. Am I veteran yet? Probably not since I have only been homeschooling one child the entire time. But I do like to think I have some helpful insight to some. 

Nine years makes Big S 13. Highschool is right around the corner. In fact, I'm already scoping out curriculum. When we first started homeschooling we looked for bugs on the ground, took field trips to the fire station, and snuggled in bed reading books in the winter time. Okay, we still do that one. But our days look much different now. She used to spend all her days playing with her toys, which is tremendously healthy and natural. (It's what Little S does now.) Everybody told me to enjoy it, and I did-to the fullest. But I also looked forward to the day that all the unschoolers and homeschoolers talked about. The day where she found what she loved and she dug her heels in and learned everything she possibly could about it. And the days are here. She has always bounced from one interest to the next, but most of it she didn't research on her own and she surely didn't want to do anything that took real effort. 

But now. Now it's so different. I recently learned that my daughter could sing. Like, sing. And all the musical skill she has been learning the last two years have finally come together. Not only can she play piano fluently and compose her own music, she can play ukelele. And she is learning violin. She can keep a great beat. She can identify pitches by ear. And did I mention she can sing? She is learning to animate with a graphic tablet, use alcohol markers, and draw realistic human faces. 

She is so incredibly talented and her demeanor lightens the mood in every room. Her stage presence is spot on, and she just emits this glow about her. She is my caring creative girl who is hard on herself and equally hard on others (Maybe not a great thing, but none of us are perfect.) 

Looking into the future, she is interested in Mission work. She is actively learning Spanish so she can travel to Mexico. (Today she wrote out an entire conversations between two family members just to practice. Who says they won't assign themselves their own work?) And as much as she fought it in the beginning, she is loving worldview too! And she is learning the Bible in depth, completing study after study to understand the history and meaning behind each book. Seeing the love of Jesus in her makes me wish so much I had that same passion she does when I was her age. She has had so many opportunities and influences that I did not. Honestly, I sometimes fear that the real world world be harsh on her and will shake her faith. And then I remember that's why we are equipping her. We WANT her faith to be shaken. We just don't want her to give in to the world. We want it to strengthen her. 

Hour after hour. Day after day I have wondered if we are doing enough. Will she know enough? Is she learning for the long-run and and not just for memorization? Did we take advantage of the time she has with us? And in light of the recent months, I would say Yes. Absolutely Yes. Not too much and not too little. Her love of learning has become evident when she says things like, "And next I'll learn sign language, and next...." or "I can't wait to start Worldview Science." Her love for God becomes evident when she says things like, "I think everybody should know Jesus." And those were the goals. Love God and love learning. The rest will come. 

Big kids are great. I have so enjoyed learning more about who she is over the last few years. But I can't forget my little. I only hope that we see the same fruits of our efforts with her. We have worked hard over the years to encourage certain behaviors (that didn't require encouraging with Big S). But character building is part of homeschooling and parenting in general. She is budding into this brilliant little girl who makes connections like crazy. She too can identify different worldviews! (Just from listening to conversations between us and between friends.) She says things like, "They think they are perfect in that movie. Don't they realize that Jesus is the only one who is perfect? Or do they not believe the Bible?" She can't put names on the worldviews yet, but she pinpoints the differences like a pro. She too has interests. Recently it is painting. She is such a perfectionist that she will paint the same picture over and over until she gets it just the way she wants it. She also loves Nature Studies we do. (Something Sam was never interested in even though she loved nature itself.) She also spends a lot of time at her nature table playing with her kinetic sand and wooden people. And she has so many sweet friendships friendships she is learning to navigate. She is my sweet and sour drama queen with a HUGE heart. She is also a social butterfly and I love her so much!!

The dynamic between the two is more than my heart can handle. It's bursting with love. When I hear my girls playing ukelele and signing songs in the bedroom my heart fills to the top with joy that the two of them have each other. When they spend hours building a Casita for their toys, I melt.  When Big S sits with Little S and teaches her to draw her first realistic face, I can't believe that I have such wonderful kids. 

I mourned for 4 years that I was struggling to have another child, but it was so worth the wait. 

Homeschooling is mentally and emotionally hard some days, but the payoff is tremendously large. Sometimes I wish I could go to work so we could have more money or I could do something that makes an impact on more people. But it's days like to today, a January day at that, that I know the impact on the world will be large whether I go to work or stay home with these sweet girls. And I choose these girls. 

2020 Year

 It all blurs together really. 

Time. 

Especially this year in the midst of the COVID pandemic. 

And this year I am not ready for change.

I'm scared actually. 

That if Fall comes, other things will change. 

And to be honest, I'm taking reality in doses right now. 

It has been laid on my heart that the years blissful ignorance or over and my eyes have been opened to the evils of the world. 

I'm not talking conspiracies. In fact, I have stayed away from the news. 

I'm talking about the true, heart wrenching realization that there is more going on in the world than we have going on inside these 4 walls. 

And something must be done. 

So it is only a matter of time before we have to go from living our typical American lives to putting ourselves in uncomfortable places and doing the work we are called to do. 

Right now is a time of growth though. So we have all resolved to spend this next season of life educating ourselves. All of us. On God. On His will for our lives. On the things that we were just allowing to happen around us without so much as a tiny bit of thought. 

As we move forward with that, we still strive to keep a love of learning alive in Big S. So although we are unschooling still-in that she has some control over her education-she has picked some things she wants to formally learn (like writing and logic) and we will be going forward with that. 

I have to say that I am quite excited about her new books because they will require her to stretch her mind beyond what she knows and beyond what I could teach her myself. Her math is a Christian Worldview curriculum that explains God's consistencies in math. It starts with elementary concepts and moves all the way through Algebra explaining how you can literally see God work through all of it! Writing was good. Nothing spectacular but will give her a good base for public speaking next year which she wants to do to help with acting. And her logic book will be something we do together as a family. It teaches how to identify false logic such as red herrings and propaganda. I think now more than ever it is important for her to learn that. Seeing all the chaos in the country when all of this happened, I feel like learning to identify false logic will assist her in living without fear and not allowing Satan to get a stronghold on her as she grows older. 

She will still have Bible, History, reading, and piano (all her choice as well)-but those are nothing new. Her and I are working through the Little House series and she has recently become engrossed in "Bud, Not Buddy." 

Watching her learn piano over the last year had been heartwarming. Especially when I found out that she would be assisting in church worship soon. I just pray that these are the things that will stay with her forever. That she will realize the significance behind it. 

I will also be doing some of my own learning. I have courses on government, psychology, vegetable gardening, and church history. 

Jessie will be focusing on getting an IT Cert. For work and putting a lot of energy in ministry as he enters his first year as youth pastor. 

We have a lot to look forward to in the months to come as we learn how to live this life during war-times. 

I can't sit idol. God did not call me to be idol and all the cleaning I have done in the last 9 months has done the kingdom no good. 

So here goes nothing....

It Is Finished

My heart is bursting with joy.

It is heavy with happiness for my Husband and for our family.

I have too many blessings to count.

But most recently it is because my Husband just graduated college and started a new job on the same day.

That's right. We got married in high school, almost 11 years ago, and 8 of those years one of us has been in school full time. Now it is finally over.

I may go to college one day, because I would love counsel when my children leave the house. And he has talked about seminary. (Lord, help us if he goes!) But the most important thing is that we no longer have to deal with school as an "only means to move forward."

He worked at Comcast almost all of his adult working life, and we knew that nothing would get him out of the field, out of manual labor, and pay as well as Comcast without a degree. So he went to school.

Every Sunday was devoted to schoolwork-and many evenings after work were spent trying to get motivated to complete assignments. I will never understand the amount of energy and drive it took him just complete each assignment after working 40-55 hours a week (sometimes more if he was traveling).

Many weeks he drug his feet and during the last year, he caught Senioritis and began skipping assignments here and there, but he did it.

And I am SO proud of him.

He landed a job nearby our house working IT with a promise that if he meets their expectations that they will move him into the brand new cyber security division when they get it up and running later in the year.

It is a stable company that has been around years and years. Amazing benefits. Pay is comparable to what he was making minus the overtime. And they are family and community oriented. (Volunteer projects, we can go eat lunch with him at the office, he can keep the girls for up to 2 hours if I need to go somewhere without them, etc.).

My heart is full. More time with my Husband AND he will finally be doing something that he is happy doing. No more dragging the ground exhausted because he just worked 10 hours out in the heat that day. No more soaking wet freezing cold boots dragging the floor when he gets home, just wanting to get under the covers because it's cold.

There will be challenges. And hard days. Who knows, probably some office politics. But he is moving forward and he is nervous-but happy to be out of his office on wheels.

It's funny. We always thought, "You won't know what to do with all your free time once you finish school."

It is already filling up fast. With good things of course, but I am having to remind him of balance.

One thing I never want to forget is that we are a family and family time is a priority. Our weeks together are numbered and they go by too fast. Mondays used to be reserved as a family day for us, which was much easier to do than reserving a Saturday will be because everybody wants to hang out and do things on the weekends. I'm a little worried, but balance will just need to be a priority.

I can see God's hand in this. The story being woven is beautiful, and I am praying that this will lead into a place where we can build our relationship with each other and with God and use it for His purpose.

That is the biggest reason why my heart is full.