Summer

So much has been going on in my head lately that I just need to blog!

Two of the big things on the list are Summertime and Being CHEA President.

Summer is going well. For us, it is just another season of unschool. S has been practicing so much swimming. I take them swimming at least once a week. And then we swim a lot on the weekends at the lake and such as a family. S has been using a life jacket until she builds her stamina, but I was worried it gives her too much support to rely on. (Even though she still thinks she has to swim the whole time to stay up.) But I found her a foam back that I can remove the layers to give her less support over time-and for only 50 cents! (Yardsale, of course.) Anywho, she had been using that. And recently she saw a friend trying to build up her endurance without any support-swimming in the deep end. With her head barely bobbing above water. She is, determined next time she goes to give it a try-now that she sees you won't drown. ;) Her and my little brother are challenging each other to learn new things. And they have spent time with some children who are better swimmers than they are and actually taught them some strokes and other cool swim related things. So swim has been a huge focus this Summer. I am just so happy to have them playing outside so much. Even if we aren't swimming, they spend a large majority of their morning outdoors. S wakes up at 10 and they stay out until at least 2 o'clock playing with some of the outdoor things I got this Summer. Scooter. Rollerblades. Of course we have the water and trampoline. Nerf Guns.  Jump ropes. S HAS MASTERED THE BASICS OF HULA HOOPING! So much to do. I have even found them playing with sticks. Thank God! (I should have trained them to do that from the beginning.)

When they are inside playing, they are usually creating. S has taught my brother to dig through the recycling bin and make things from nothing. "Inventions" is what she refers to them as now that she has seen an episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy on Inventions. And they really enjoy You Tube. S is getting back into her YouTube channel. They made a video of themselves using an invention to pass each other notes across the living room...Ah. Those two. Now this what a call a technologically updated 70s Summer.

While the kids do that, I watch some and play some, but try not to hang over their shoulder too much, because well, they are kids, and S and I get a lot of alone time throughout the year and even at night in the Summer when we do our reading and work on her projects like her art board game she is making. Eek! She does need her time to learn from someone else and let's face it, as cool of a Mom as I am, I am not the only one she needs.

Just a side note,  I am SO happy S gets to spend time with my little brother over the Summer.  There is nothing better than being with somebody close to you-constantly-during the warm months to create,  play,  and innovate with.  I am thankful for the connection they have.  He is like a sibling. Arguing and all. But she gets to send him home. :) I hope she will look  back on Summer as some of her fondest memories, playing in the pool,  making silly videos,  letting ice cream juice run down their faces. Getting into the recycling. Creating games on the driveway with chalk. Bumping heads on the trampoline. Playing Mario on the Wii...I'm happy for her. Summer days were the best with my older brother. Nothing could replace that time we got to just...PLAY.  No Pinterest ideas.  No over bearing Mom. No demands to do school work. No outside activities. Just plain learning to occupy ourselves for 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

We have so much planned.  Of course lots of camping trips and Boat outings. Swimming. A trip to Six Flags. We will probably hike in the Smokies for a day.  They will get to keep seeing all their friends...

So anyway,  I do my work while they work. Housework. Work on our new boat we are trying to fix up. Projects of my own. Sometimes I read. Other days I just watch them play. This Summer has been especially hectic full of emails and to do lists for CHEA (her homeschool support group) because I am officially president! Whew. It is a lot more work than I thought. Everybody wants my approval for everything. And I get cc'd in every conversation between board members and/or volunteers so that I can be up to speed with what is going on.

I know who is leading what and what every idea for the upcoming year is. Somebody asked another person for the financial information to update PayPal, which is not really my area of business, but I know because I was part of that convo. so I could approve it. I finally got a planning meeting for July coordinated between everybody's vacations and kids' nap times and summer camps. I had to make an agenda with everything we want to start planning for the upcoming year. From community service projects to the big field trip in the Spring. We want to do tons of new stuff like have tshirts made and do a Christmas Float. My Vice President suggested that we all walk over at the end of the parade to her Husband's office in the center of the town-He is a lawyer-and he will turn on the fire and make hot chocolate. And everybody can bring some kind of goodies. It sounds so nice. I think that would be a memory S remembers for a long time.

So many ideas. This is all so new, but it is coming so naturally. Making it a habit to check the PO Box and tell everybody at the end of each email that all of CHEA appreciates what they are doing. And making sure to show support for families who have family members in the hospital or who have recently passed away or even the ones who have just had a baby. Being responsible for every action of every member in the group. Sounds exhausting. But it is fulfilling. I don't get that "high" that most people get out of "being in power." I still feel equal because I am equal, just with added responsibilities. That's where my "high" comes from. And it is my way of taking more part is S's "education," investing in her future. Making sure she has fun memories with friends and an array of experiences.

Which brings me to my next point...I feel so happy when I am doing these things. I keep telling myself that when I volunteer, I am doing God's work. I especially feel that way in the post abortion area, but that is only super active twice a year for about 10 weeks. And when I think about homeschooling I feel that way, like I am dedicating 100% of my life to the work of teaching my child to serve God and teaching her about His world...But part of me wonders if I am doing the right thing. (Not by homeschooling, but by doing all this other extra stuff that is not directly for God.) Does he care if S goes on fieldtrips to the News Station while other children are starving? Does it make a difference in eternity if I check the CHEA mailbox and reply to all the emails from board members? I prayed about taking the President's spot and I talked to my Husband to get his permission. It. Felt. Right. Everything we join is pretty much "Christian." When I think about S joining American Heritage Girls next year, it makes me smile because she will be learning to serve and be making friends and learning more about God's world...Stop right there. Then I think, "Is this the way, we, as Christians, picture Christian living? Is this the right way? Or is this the way that Americans view it. I am so conflicted. While we are going to be sitting inside a church eating pizza and scooping out ice cream for the girls at their indoor sleepover, thinking we are being good Christians by letting our children converse with other Christians, does it anger God? I doubt it makes him happy. While there are thousands and thousands of children out there who are in desperate need of clean water or shoes, we are not solving it. We are contributing to the problem. While there are so many people out there who have not accepted Jesus, we are sitting inside a church trying to keep our children in groups of other Christians and away from the "hooligans" of the world. Is this what we are teaching them? Didn't Jesus sit and talk with even the "biggest" of sinners? Does EVERYTHING we do have to be 100% for God? Or can life be about a different type of enjoyment too, after we have "done our time," so to say. Should we feel guilty about enjoying what God has allowed us to have? It is not that I feel obligated to do what I already do. I do that because I want to help and I enjoy it also. But I do feel obligated to do more. Is it okay to feel that way? I have talked to my Hubby and prayed continuously for the answers to this. I am getting a bit frustrated because I wanted a direct answer, but all I keep getting is "read your Bible." Not just from Hubby, but from God too. Now I feel like, in order to grow at all,  in order to decide what kind of person I want to be, in order to be complete,  I NEED to read my Bible every single day. Sometimes more than once. I have never felt such a desire to read it. It had always felt like somewhat of a chore. It is nice because it has given me the drive to really jump in there every single day and read and interpret and research and figure out the Greek roots and what things really mean, and how many things we learned growing up were only visions we were given through commercialism and not really things that are necessarily true. I have learned so much in a week's time.  If course there is always more. S and I have been working on Exodus together since the seder she attended. Amd I chose to start in Luke.  But I have been going through all the gospels to see what details the similar chapters reveal about the same stuff.  Like the birth of Jesus.  But I am still just so confused. I have more questions than ever about what God thinks of us as typical, or even somewhat typical Americans.

And while I am being busy being a Debbie Downer, I had a rough time this past month with this whole trying to conceive thing. I'll spare the details, but I struggled quite a bit. Just thinking how much more do I have to go through during this season of my life? Am I paying for what I did? If so, why do only some people have to endure that? Will it only get worse? According to my Husband, the good news is, we know my supplements are working. But I worry when I do end up pregnant again, will I make it to 8 months and end up delivering a stillborn baby? Will I end up enduring an ectopic pregnancy, which is common for people like me. Ugh. It shouldn't be so stressful. When we first started trying, I imagined it so magical. Then, the longer it took, the less magical it seemed. And after we took a break from actively trying then when we started back because it wasn't working, I felt renewed. I learned a better way of tracking BBT. I started taking my supplements. I thought, "This is it! Not long from now! This time is different because I have things figured out." Nine months later...nothing.

And it made me really sad because I got some free baby clothes the other day. (A yardsale that was packing up. The lady told me to take whatever I wanted. And she had some good clothes!) I brought them home, along with a few clothes for S, and I spread them out on the floor. Nevermind the clothes I got her, she was all into the baby clothes! She couldn't believe how small and cute they were. She was looking at the sizes and talking about how cute a baby would look in these. And she would read them off, "Daddy's Girl." Ooo...I thought for sure that would make her jealous. But it didn't. She thought it was totally adorable. And she kept talking about how great it will be when her Dad is a Daddy AGAIN! And I'm like, "Okay, God! She is older now. I get it. I like the older age. It will be great when we have another. I got to enjoy my one on one time with her for several years and I am thankful for that, but please!" I don't know what the future will bring to us. But I know it involves someone for S. I don't know if that is adoption or a family member we end up with or if we will have another one. Or a combination of those things. But one thing is for sure, when it happens, it will be worth it. I just keep having to tell myself that. :/

On a happier note, that "Life of Fred" was ridiculous. S enjoyed it. I did not. I realize they are for her learning, not mine,  so we will continue them, see if they get better and more in depth,  but they are not teaching her much math and they are ALL over the place! So I found a series-that is a little more grown up called "Math Lessons for Living." The best part is, it was free! Online. The printable version. I saved it all on my computer and printed a little, but there is SO MUCH! I need to figure out a way to go about it. Maybe reading them off the computer. They are longer, more detailed books.  And have the option to work the problems out with the characters.  They expose kids to a lot of things from what I have seen. It talks about farms, Mission work, art....

Speaking of art,  I'm trying to refrain from talking so much about plans for Fall because we haven't even technically hit Summer yet! But it is going to be great!!! That's for sure.

Making a TV Show-well, several shows actually. 

She discovered Paint on the computer.  

Oh, you know,  just going through the most recently bag of recycling and making another wacky invention.  

Note Passing Invention - the Note-inator. 

Collecting Geese Feathers at the Local Pond While Daddy Fishes

Mastered Keeping the Hula Hoop Up!!!!

Daddy taught Samantha to skip rocks.  

And catch Crawl Dads. She was totally excited to come and tell me. 

Getting to Ride on the Boat Before Me

My Free Baby Clothes Stash-Inside my $6 co-sleeper find at a yard sale. ;)

What will we do today, Sami?

I know I say it all the time, but it is insane to me how we can wake up so many mornings and not know what we are doing that day. And yet, those are the days where we get the most done. I mean I have literally been asked what I have planned for the day and I'll say, "Well, right now I'm cleaning. But once Samantha gets up I'll ask her. Who knows?"

Like the other day. With the Math. I never would have expected when I woke up that morning that math would click with her that day! And the coolest part is to see how one thing leads into another. A book about zero leading into practicing double digit addition???

Later that night I remembered a series of books a friend told me about at our last Board Meeting. They were called "Life of Fred." It is actually considered a curriculum, but they are just math novels.  Nothing else. There are no hidden agendas and very little work, of which is totally optional anyway. And it connects math to everyday life....If it isn't something she will use on a regular basis, I don't think she needs to learn it until she encounters it. Say, for a job. But enough before I go on a tangent. Relax unschooling amigos, don't get your panties in a wad. I didn't run off and buy it because another formal Homeschool Mom said she needed to learn math from a book. I bought it because she researched it with me and asked for it. But I got a Hella deal so even if it does end up sitting on the shelf, who cares? Maybe the next one will enjoy it. Maybe not. But we can sell it for more if we wanted to.

I want to celebrate her new love of math with her. I want to support her. She now says it is her favorite "subject." (We try not to segregate learning like that, but I guess that's the way our society works. And we were raised that way. So she does know schools have subjects.) She has been practicing on the computer the last few days. And can't wait to get her books.

When we went to bed that night we had no clue what we would do the next morning.

It's funny. One thing into another.

The next morning came. She woke up and I had to do errands real quick. I asked her in the car what she wanted to do. She wasn't quite sure. I said, "You can work on your gallery, yard art, play toys, read, board games..." "Card games?" I told her yes. Then she proceeded to make up a game called "Yard Art." She begins tell me the rules that didn't make a who lot of sense....I stopped her and told her that made up games are for her and her friends. I don't play them.

Bad. I know.

But that is one thing that rubs me wrong.

Then I realized that I was slowly on my way to killing her self confidence and creativity.

Dang.

I hung my head. What was the advice I read in a recent essay? If a child has the need to throw things, don't tell him not to throw. He isn't being a brat. He has a need. Meet that need. Buy him things that are for throwing. And teach him the appropriate time to throw.

Lightbulb!

"Sam...How about we make a boardgame?" And THAT was it from there. She was flowing with ideas. Some big. Some small. Mostly big. She wants a pop up game where you pull an arrow and out something pops. Etc Etc. I leave those ideas up to her. I wouldn't know where to start. However,  we work well together though because I can help her slow down and see the whole project in steps. Wheras, she only sees the big picture.

We got a lot done today.  She decided on a game with an art theme.  It will be called Master Painters. It is a board game. We have the perfect box for it. And a piece of cardboard for the board. She settled on a layout. The object is to collect 5 paintings so you can get into art school. (You make your own "paintings" which are drawings and the art school accepts you based on them.) She started making cards. There will be action cards and cards with facts about at and artists. It will be made of mostly recycled materials some "that's what at is about." And she has already thought about what the pieces will be and where to put the directions.

 I have to say,  it is a good activity. Makes you think and plan. Get creative. And Most importantly it has her excited.

And to think, this morning we had no idea what we were going to do...

Math Makes Cents

Ha Ha. Get it. Play on words there, people. Because math and money go hand in hand....he he....okay. No? Well I tried.

Anywhos. As I posted previously, the last few weeks have been rough. But it is funny how the smallest things make everything seem alright. It makes it all worth it. And I wonder why I ever day dreamed of Samantha being in school!

Today started like any other home day. S asked me to read to her some of the books she checked out at the library yesterday. So I did. We read Ponies.  And Christmas Cub. Kit. Boxcar Children.  And, well, sneaky me. I snuck a sneaky book in there. About Math. My intentions were well. I wanted it to be used as a fun storybook. But thought it could possibly be a catalyst for her. It was worth a shot as long as I wasn't forcing it.

The title of the book was,  "A Place for Zero." She struggles. My does she struggle in math. Since she was 2 and learning to count, she would skip the number 15. Altogether. Just skip it. And to this day she struggles to tell you what a 15 looks like. She will say 13 is 31. And 105 is 150. (She is not sure how to treat the zero. And that was the point of the book.  To explain zero.) Also, as she learned addition, we (both) tried to show her easier,  faster ways to add in her head. (She had a,problem with skipping fingers while using her hands.) I've said it before. It seems to be our Go To plan. We stopped.  And my Husband didn't like it.  Not one bit. But he supported it because he understood...WHAT GOOD WILL IT DO TO FORCE HER TO LEARN SOMETHING SHE APPARENTLY CAN'T UNDERSTAND?  It isn't just that she doesn't get a certain method. She doesn't get numbers period. She isn't doing it for attention.  She isn't playing dumb.  It started when she was little and had been a source of anxiety for her ever sense. So we relaxed.  Let that anxiety fall away.  Let her brain develop.

But today. It just clicked for her. Something hit home for her. After I read that book we went over double digit addition and how place value comes in. Carrying the 1s. I tried to make it more real to her so she would see WHY we need to add 2 digit numbers. She was going through the motions. But didn't quite get it. So we went over and over it. She didn't get frustrated. She said, "I Love math." Ha! I love math? Perfect! The wait was well worth it. At last she finally looked at me and said, "I like this. But it is hard for me. I want to learn more. But I have to go back and get better at my math facts first." Brilliant. She found a reason to learn it. She wants to know how to do things as quick as I do. How to figure things out. In order to do that, she must learn x, y, z. And she is on her way down that road.

I asked her what she wanted to help her practice. Worksheets. Board games. Computer games. She chose computer games. She jumped on fun4thebrain.com and practiced for 2 hours! And it clicked for her. She said, "Mom! I don't need to use my fingers. I can start with the bigger number and count up to the next number. 4 plus 6 is 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Then she stayed remembering some facts.  And being able to do facts that added up to things like 15. And she wasn't intimidated by them! That's a major feat for her.

She got it. She finally got it. What a relief. She will still probably have a lifelong struggle with math. But at least she doesn't hate it. At least she sees the value in it. And at least her brain had time to develop to get to the point where it just made sense. She has jumped a major hurdle. Something that has plagued her.  Understanding numbers in general.  I'm proud of her.

And I'm proud of myself. I held back. I was panicking inside because everybody is ending their first grade year with a firm grasp on their math facts and place value. And I was constantly having to remind myself that things do not happen on a timeline. She is still a bit behind other kids her age math wise, but that's okay because she figured it out. She is loving it.

It is kinda weird to hear that the year is closing out for everyone. Of course our CHEA year is coming to a close. But we are still going stronger than ever. S has requested time to practice her math on the computer during the Summer. And her and my brother have both requested the library at least every other week. They want to swim. Explore outside. Go to the Greenway. Birdwatch. Camp. And all those other things. Science will be a focus this Summer. Hiking. Canoeing. Identifying plants and animals with her awesome new binoculars I got her at a yardsale.

Some days are major burnout.  When it seems that life is all about this event.  That experience.  These friends. Making sure we have intellectual conversations in the car....The good a gone day can do.  All the ground you can cover.  All the things you learn and enjoy....spontaneously.  Ah. It's worth it.

All About Me

This week has been exceptionally hard. And it is weeks like these that I want to call it quits. Not because S. But because life happens and I feel like I'm having to deal with it instead of living it along side her.

Days like these I sit and think about what it would be like to be a stay at home mom while Samantha was in school. It sounds good in principle.

I already have my schedule planned out. Monday I would spend with Hubby since he is off. Tuesday I would spend the morning walking with some of my new Mommy friends. We would talk about our kids and how they are doing in school. Enjoy a few hours to ourselves. Then afterward, I would head off to the Center to volunteer. Wednesdays I would stay home and catch up on all my cleaning that I usually do in the mornings while S sleeps. It is a good errand day too.  And Thursdays I would volunteer at her school and eat lunch with her. Friday would be my free day. I'm sure she would have some school events. Or maybe I'd have extra cleaning to do. Somebody to meet up with. Or a project that needs to be done. Oh. The free time I would have....

But everything that I would miss. Sunday/Mondays there would be no camping. Tuesdays S would not be able to volunteer with me. Wednesdays we wouldn't have home days. AKA days were we can wake up and play games at home or take a last minute trip to the park to paint and study the Civil war. Thursdays I would miss the same. And Fridays we would not meet with CHEA. We would not have a miniature fieldtrip that we get to choose and post on the CHEA calendar. We would not have a Bird A Thon. Or History Fair. We would not have days where we get with friends to do lessons through building with Legos or other things the kids love. Sure, I could still take her to the library and we would do extra curriculars. But afternoons can be a bear. And weekends-FORGET ABOUT IT! And for what? To be able to go to a gym alone? Or eat breakfast with friends once a week?

And all the running that goes along with it. Early morning wake up. And drop off. Gotta be there on time for pick up. And make sure to have homework done by this date. And permission slips with money by this time. Dont forget they need to order a tshirt. And Tuesday is the talent show! Send $2. I'm sure it would be draining. It is not all it sounds like it would be. I'm sure.

But the last few weeks, mainly the last 3 days, have just been rough. And I feel like the devil is trying to get me down. He IS trying to get me down. And the grass is always greener...I won't let him. Better things are coming and I'm choosing to keep positive. I keep watering my plants. And taking care of things that need to be done before S wakes up. Even though I would love nothing more than some sleep! And I clean the house the best I can. And cover my eyes when I begin to see the imperfections. I keep allowing Samantha to spend her days as she pleases, knowing collectively, she is still experiencing so much. But inside I feel like there is always something to do. Always something that still could be cleaned better. I wish I didn't have to worry about her education. Sometimes I wish I had another teacher to share the burden. But I know I don't really mean that.

I love having that "burden." I know that will make me all the more proud as Samantha grows. For us, there is no specific graduation date. There is no end to education. So I will eternally delight in the fact that she is learning and growing now and in the future.

In fact, I love having that burden so much - the burden of education AND socialization-that I have been serving in ever area I can for her homeschool support group over the last 2 years. I started out small. Christmas party. And slowly, I got involved in everything. Even if it means playing the small part like putting out the table cloths. Or bringing the bottled waters. I've planned this and that. And the next thing I knew I was on the Board of Directors.

This year, I served as Secretary.  I really enjoyed writing out the Minutes. And typing them up and sending them for approval. Yea. I am a tedious person.

Although I started helping out to give my support for S-and will continue to do so by planning events I know she woukd enjoy and learn from...To be honest, the Board is for me. That's right. I said it. It is how I keep my sanity. Having something to do that I enjoy. I enjoy order. Total and complete structure. By choice - we do not have that rigid structure in our homeschool. I do that for S though.  Not for me.  She is an artist. Everywhere with her ideas. And she does not thrive on structure like I do but I have to have it.  I crave it.  And the Board is how I get my fix. Not only does the Board provide structure for me. It also provides a chance for me to spend time with friends. I'm bad about focusing on "what needs to be done" all the time. Here is x, y, z. If it isn't in my regular schedule, I have a hard time accommodating. I have a hard time making time to go see friends for myself because S needs to see her friends. Hubby needs me. We need a home day to work on projects. I have work for the Center. I haven't read my Bible in 3 days. I'm planning a CHEA field trip. Dinner needs to be cooked. There is this long list. And unless there is a way to trick my mind into taking that break to be with friends,  I won't do it. So there you have it. Time with friends. (Everybody always gets on to me for that. And I mean everybody. It isn't something I do on purpose. There is always just SO MUCH to be done!!!!)

So this year I was elected to be CHEA President. And. I. Took. It. Why would I take it if there is always so much to be done? I took it for myself. That's right. I took it because I like having things to do. I like having work. I don't work full time. So I always have to get my fix of "feeling productive" (aside the fact of you know, raising and educating a child)-I have to get that feeling somewhere else. I totally get what people mean when they say they HAVE to work but my heart was torn between being home with my S  and going to college and finding a professional job. This is a way that I can have the best of both worlds and I'm going to take it.

I have to admit, I have never had full say before. At our last meeting where our former president passed the baton, I asked her when our next board meeting would take place and if we were doing the Back to School picnic in August or September...."That's all up to you now," she said. That's when it hit me. I'm a little nervous. But more excited. All these things that needs to be planned. All the things that need to be done. I'm in Heaven.

She packed me down with things like the mailbox key and Field Day supplies, old yearbooks, CHEA'S sound system....and there is more she will give me later. But I don't mind. We meet again in June to go over all my duties. And I can't wait. I am just bursting. I know that I will make a good president. Call me conceited. But it's true. I'm an organized type A personality that will juggle my focus between several projects at once and still get them done. The only place I think-er, I know I will struggle is conflict. I don't want to solve conflict between people. Luckily there is very little of that in our group. And absolutely no drama in the 2 years we have been in.

Wow. Speaking of. I can't believe we are going on our 3rd year of homeschooling. 3rd year. I can't even describe the leaps and bounds S has made. Watching her in the library today excited about her new American Girl books. Reading the description to herself.  This girl has come a long way from the S who fought with me to read a leveled reader. And this Mama has changed, a lot too!!

Anyway,  wish me luck!  I'M GOING TO BE PRESIDENT!!!!

I have been working recently on Samantha's yearbook for CHEA...This happened last year too... I started feeling like we didn't do enough. But as I was going through all the photos (which don't even skim the surface this year because I didn't have a good camera for a majority of it) I started realizing how many amazing opportunities we have had and how many cool spur of the moment things we have done that turned out to benefit S so much!
All the trips to the park where S painted pictures and read books or played games. All the opportunities she has had through CHEA that sparked an interested like birdwatching or field trips to plays where she realized how much she loves theatre. I thought back to the beginning of September where we were still hiking and camping. And S was super into her You Tube channel and she was making videos left and right. Or the time we went to the library  and spent the whole day working on a book. S looked at books and decided on a style of drawing she liked. Or the time we spent the entire day at the library (again) reading Dr. Seuss. Lots of days volunteering. Lots of days spent on You Tube looking up how to loom. Or the day we spent at S's Nanny's learning to crochet.

After I started working on her yearbook I realized I wanted to check out another book on unschooling. So I did. It was called "Radical Unschooling" by Dana Martin. And everybody who is anybody in the unschooling community knows exactly who she is. So I was a little skeptical at first. Let me lead with this: I have the complete inability to let go when it comes to television and video games because I tried that briefly and was unsuccessful, so aside from that, I believe many of her beliefs completely apply to how we do or should be living for our family. She really made one thing clear to me, something I have struggled with for years. Just because I do not like something does not mean I should drive S away from it. Just because I do not like the shows she likes does not mean S does not find value in it. So if it is not negatively impacting her, why not? I really had to put that into practice the other day at McKays Book Store. S and I went up to look at the posters. (She wanted some posters of famous paintings in her room.) The only one she liked that she didn't have was called the Scream by Edward Munch. To me, it is a creepy poster and I did NOT want it on her wall, but I must pat myself on the back because I told her she could have it. (I was going to let her have it if it was Sunflowers or another painting I liked, so why not one she finds value in?) So....I did it. And she is SO happy. She feels like I value her interests and that is important to me. I want her to always feel that way. She hurried to put it up in her room and has been admiring it ever sense. Not only that, she has been trying to interpret it. She can't quit figure out why the man is screaming. But one day as she was looking at it closely she noticed there is a blur shaped like another person in the background so she started to wonder if the two were connected. Connections. That's what education is. Connections.

I have never felt so confident about unschool. I am soaring. I have my ups and downs. We have productive days and our rough days. But everybody does. Today. Today is a good day. A day where I can feel confident in saying, "This is doing her more good than I could ever imagine."

And we have so many plans for the upcoming months! (Our "school year" won't end until September 1st!)

First thing is, as Samantha grows older, she has a deepened interest in art. She has recognized famous paintings all her life. At 2 years old, she would say to me, "Look Mommy, it's you again!" as she pointed to the Mona Lisa. I am not sure why she always said that.  To this day she still thinks it is a painting of me. Around the age of 3 she would point out paintings that she remembered from her Baby Music video. (A video that played classical music-her favorite-and displayed famous paintings across the screen with a light hearted interactive character scurrying across each painting. She napped to it. It was all that would put her to sleep.) But now, after reading a story book on Impressionism, which sparked her newfound love of Monet, she is recognizing paintings everywhere on a higher level, "Look Mom!  I bet that one is an Impressionist painting by Edgar Degas. Those ballerinas are his style." "Look Mom,  another watercolor by Monet! I haven't seen this one." I bought her a Usbourne book of famous paintings at the book store the other day, and she was asking who painted each painting and what style it was our what they used. The book is cool because it helps you analyze the paintings and look closer in. It feels you the History and about the painter. I even caught her curled up in a chair yesterday thumbing through it and talking to herself about it.

Side Note: At this age,  I know children can start to hide more or be embarrassed to share certain things with their parents, but I was happy to know that SO FAR we have built a solid foundation of communication. Enough so that S was able to tell me about a painting in her book that made her uncomfortable. (It had several naked men spread across 2 pages.) Part off me wanted to tell her not to be embarrassed. It's art and she will see a lot of that, but I didn't want to break that communication so I told her we would definitely tape the 2 pages together so the book does not fall open on them. (It is the center of the book.)

Speaking of art,  one of her new hobbies is making furniture for her Our Generation/American Girl dolls. She is currently working on an art gallery and a hammock. Some parts are more complex and involve a hot glue gun. I do those and she does the rest. It is a good little team project we have going. Not expensive and she gets doll furniture as well as practice painting and following directions and sewing for some things. She will display all her pieces in her art gallery when she is done. (We are looking at Fall at this point)

Also,  as she grows older, she has a deeper interest in nature and geography. She just completed her Geography Fair Project for CHEA. On England. She always gets excited about it, but I lead the charge on the project by telling her what needs to be researched and we look together. This year she was REALLY excited and wanted to do it pretty much all by hand. And, well, I am a perfectionist and wanted to print it all out, nice and neat, so I cringed when she told me that, but she is helping me let go. So I told her, "Sounds good to me!" And she upheld her end for sure. She cut out her own letters. She cut out and put together her own flag. She wrote all her information down and cut it out. She even drew the landmarks she wanted on there by herself. The biggest feat of all,  was in the days after when we were at the bookstore-yes, a lot happened that day-and she casually said, "You know how I finished my England project? Do you mind if I still do some more research on it, just for me?" That was when I knew we had an unschooling win.

She loves Geography, and with all my recent FB posts,  I'm sure everyone knows that. So a friend of mine who lives in Arizona, whose son is only 6 months older than S and they have SO much in common,  text me and asked if they could be pen pals-about Geography! (Now, S has a pen pal, but it had been so slow going. Very elementary.  "How are you? Want to be friends?  I have dogs and cats.  I like to swim." That sort of thing.  Which will be great to practice her writing/pleasantries and to have a friend as she grows older,  so she will definitely continue writing her,  but a GEOGRAPHY PEN PAL?  I knew she would be excited.  So I told S. And my friend and I discussed the details. When they camp or hike they can take pictures of stuff,  research it,  write about it,  and send the pictures and information in the letter.  Obviously they won't be writing but maybe once a month,  but think of all their is to learn!  S will research her environment.  And then she will read and learn about his! Maybe even research more. The land, climate,  animals, plants....Geography and Science all in one! Not to mention Reading/English! We can't wait to get started.

On top of all those things she is an avid reader. She loves story books. And is in the process of reading a few chapter books: Kit American Girl-the 3rd book in the series,  Boxcar Children the 2nd one, and she dropped Tinker Bell and replaced it with a biography on the painter, Van Gogh.  Trips to the library have just become a lot different.  Used to she would wander around looking for books she wanted and studying them and picking them out based on the cover. Pretty much throwing everything with bright colors in the basket. And that's okay with me.  I didn't want to stifle her love of reading by telling her she couldn't read or check out the books she thought she might enjoy just because she didn't know what they were about or they weren't on her level Etc. But now when we go in,  it is hard to put in to words.  She goes in with a purpose.  She knows what she wants to read and usually I have already put it on hold for her.  If not,  she searches it on the computer and I help her find it. Then she looks at the storybooks and reads the titles. If she likes it, she keeps it. If not, she doesn't. Then she wants to sit and read either by herself or together.

I have sat back and watched her grow a ton this year. Some days I feel guilty that I let her guide herself while I just facilitate, and then I see how independent she is. That she will walk outside and gather her own materials for her new fairy house on her own, go up and down the isles at the library or bookstore while I look at my stuff, or write her own pen pal letters workout my assistance.  I see how creative she is. Coming up with most of her own projects. I see how she can work with others whether we are bouncing ideas off of each I other, volunteering with people we have never met before, or she is working out compromises with my little brother while they work on their elaborate ideas together.

While watching her grow, I have also seen growth in myself. I have seen myself learn to back off and let her clean up her own messes and write her own letters and numbers without hovering over her. I have seen myself accept the messes for what they are: "an unschooling artist at work." (That is quite a combination.) And I have seen myself grow as a parent in how I talk to my child. And always asking myself what the underlying need is for certain behaviors.

We have both done a lot of growing this year.  And that just isn't something you can describe in a yearbook.

I really was in need of a vent yesterday, more so than today, but...I didn't have time.  Which makes sense since that is exactly what my vent was about.

Time.

One reason we homeschool is so that we have the time to do things other people might not have the time to do. And we get things done during the day so we have time to spend at home with Daddy at night.

BUT, lately it seems we never have time to be at home! We literally come home to cook dinner. Then we leave. And come back to sleep. (It has been a real dedication to come home and cook instead of going out to eat.)

Some of it is errands. Most of it is learning opportunities. Sunday after Easter we went and bought a truck. We left my grandparents house around 5 PM (after getting there at 11) and didn't get home until 2 AM. Monday S spent with my Mother In Law. And instead of getting the romantic date we planned-canoeing, walking around downtown, eating at a local brewhouse....we spent 6-1/2 hours getting the new truck tagged and titled. I assume it will all be worth it once we get out and get to play on the mountain this Spring! But right now I am still frustrated.

The rest is all interest based, learning. Fishing. S has learned a lot this year about that since she is older now. Birding everywhere we go. Going to birding classes at Audubon Acres, gotta get the most out of the experience...Winding down gym and swim for the year as well as all the end of year support group activities. It seems like all her friends want to get together in the same week. And gosh she has so many friends! Since she doesn't see them at school, I am semi obligated to take her around to see them at their houses or the playground or whatever.

Not to mention I think I dedicated myself to too much this year. I helped out in my brother's classroom one time and the teacher made me basically Room Mom. Um...he isn't my kid. So next year I won't be doing that. I have been asked to be group President this coming up school year. Preparing for that. I'm wondering if it is too much to take on. This year I was secretary, Christmas party coordinator, field trip coordinator....This coming up year, we as a board decided that it will be mandatory for each member to volunteer for something. This is a volunteer organization. We as board members shouldn't have to do it all. You should not have the same 6 people organizing everything. Oh yea. And Bible Study starts Tuesday. However, that will be nice to slow Tuesdays down since we won't be going to the Center during the day.

I always have so much rolling through my mind. In fact, I am all over the place while typing this post.  We have projects to complete. Birding. (Made decent progress on that.) Geography Fair. (Almost zero progress and it is due in a few weeks. We have read one book on England and have a pile of them left. Nothing printed. No board started. Last year we had it all done and sitting out on the table  a month early!) And her gallery....don't get me started. We have done virtually nothing with it in weeks. She still works on her art, but nothing gallery worthy. We are going to see what we can do today.

It feels like even though we are always learning, we aren't getting anything done. Even though we are.

Looking back I can't believe how much we have completed this year and how much progress has been made. Even without the down time, S has somehow learned to read! Read. All on her own. The Boxcar Children series! She is totally engrossed in that. And American Girl. But I read all of those to her. Boxcar Children she reads aloud.
She has learned money.
I waited.
I wanted to make sure she was ready. And she started showing readiness signs last week. Without any effort she learned how many quarters in a dollar. We did a rhyme  for her to say so she knows how much each quarter is worth together. She learned to make change with quarters. She learned how to count by 5s and 10s for nickels and dimes. The only thing she doesn't grasp yet is that it is totally even if we trade two 5 dollar bills for a 10. She understands two 5s make a 10 dollar bill. But she doesn't understand that it is exactly the same. I'll give it some time to sink in.
Yea. We did 80% of that in the car while looking for yardsales! We also talked about marrying a guy who doesn't just want her for her body. That was an interesting conversation. But that's beside the point.

Next Day: I feel better today.  Although we were supposed to get a home day yesterday and didn't, we still got time to relax. No specific plans.

We went grocery shopping early (will early for us) in the morning so there was hardly anybody there.  We practiced reading prices and adding. She read my list off to me.  Scanned. And bagged.  Then we went to the playground.  I forgot they had water (like a little Spring there) so it is a good I always keep her bathing suit in the car.  She played in the water.  She saw fish jumping out for food.  And she sat in a tiny "waterfall" and experimented with the water. She damned it up and it reminded her off all the beaver damns we have been seeing lately.  Once she was done there she got out her paints. I read a book on Impressionism  (cute story book series I found about different time periods of art). And she was inspired to paint her own Impressionist painting. I looked online and found out that Hunter Art Museum has an Impressionism class for Homeschoolers coming up in May! AND an Impressionism exhibit starting in June!!! How perfect!  Sam is stoked to go. So we are for sure.  (Unschooling Rocks!) After she got tired of painting we played together on the playground then,  worn out,  decided to watch for birds quickly.  We found 2 birds that we had never seen before so we went to Steak N Shake for half price milkshakes while we used it guide to identify them.  (She has been using that thing non stop to look up flowers and bugs, general info on snakes.  It had become second nature to her, which will come in handy this Summer.) We got everything in our last worked on and more. We even got a post board for the Geography Fair and made plans for what to do with it. Ah. The wonders a "day off" will do for you!

Today will be a somewhat busy day again.  We are attending a Seder for Passover. S has been very anxious to learn how her friends celebrate holidays. (They are not Jewish. They just practice Jewish Feasts and Festivals instead of regular holidays.  I can't say I blame them.  They have much more-less commercialized meaning-and they aren't all about gifts.) That's okay though. We are both feeling refreshed now and at least we are always learning.

Vent-It Has Been Awhile

Let me start by saying, YES, my kid writes some of her numbers backward.  (Particularly 2 and 5, but that is beside the point.) The point IS-NO! I'm not having her checked out! She doesn't have a disability. And NO, I'm definitely not going to have her sit down and force her to do worksheets until she gets it right.

A few points: 

1. Technically,  she should be in Kindergarten this year.  (Some qualities,  including her complete lack of understanding numbers, although is quickly improving on its own,  shows her brain is still maturing like that of a child who is in Kindergarten or early 1st grade. She is 6-1/2 while most kids in 1st are now 7. 6 months makes a MAJOR difference in brain development.) And I know plenty of Kindergarten children who write their numbers backwards.

2. To a child,  a number is a number. To them,  they should be able to be written both ways. A dog is a dog whether it is facing left or right.  A tale is a table and a chair is a chair. So why not a number be a number?

3. Honest to God, she does so many other things and people want to knit pick over a backward number?!!! Like everybody. Not just one or two people. Everybody rolls their eyes because I'm allowing her brain develop in time instead of forcing it and they don't realize everything she does because if they knew they would know they are wrong to think their way is the only way. Yes, she spends much of her time drawing. More time than most parents would allow indirectly because of scheduling restrictions. But she has improved leaps and bounds. She has gone from stock figures to sketching beautiful scenaries and drawing cartoon figures with her favorite B6 pencil. When we go places, she takes her book and pencils and water colors. And she stops. We get to talk all about the plants and birds and research them. We get to use the binoculars. And Daddy teaches her bird calls sometimes as he day dreams about hunting that weekend. She just sits and studies nature for awhile as she notices the shape and texture of the leaves or the fact that the water is flowing a certain way leaving the ripples flowing in that direction. She has spent her time studying artists from the past and learning about their lives and inspiration for painting.  Then she mimics them and their styles,  trying to find her own. She has read about the different art eras. She sees the reactions the paint and water make and she calls it just THAT-A REACTION! Then she explores to see what other reactions she can make in nature to include in her art.
She spends a lot of time playing Legos, which to most people,  except homeschoolers, are just toys. (I haven't met a homeschooler yet who didn't have a giant tub of Legos in their bedroom.) And she builds and talks about the symmetry and she problem solves on her own. (Something a lot of employers complain about employees lacking these days.  Something also which they find directly correlates with our amount of play time as adults AND as children.) In her other free time,  we read anything and everything we can access. (I'm hoping eventually she will look on the pages with numbers and see which way a 5 faces. lol) She volunteers and sees things she has learned being applied and she applies them herself.  Adding up cans for the food back bags.  Dividing them between people. Reading the labels to know what goes where. All this,  naturally.  Because she knows days are not just for wasting away. They are for doing something productive. Something you love. Something that helps others. Something you learn from.
And for those who are directly academics and numbers/lists oriented...She reads on a 2nd grade level.  She knows how to add,  subtract, and do very base level multiplication, division,  and fractions.  She has studied the History of and knows about the Native Americans,  Christopher Columbus, Pocohantas, the Civil War, the Victorian era, The Great Depression, and many more topics-including Bible History. And more than just cut and paste sheets or textbook paragraphs. I'm talking about living books - auto biographies and biographies, storybooks-which we take for what they are worth,  documentaries, museums, debates on the TRUTH behind the History. Oh. Science? My apologies. Almost forgot.  She has studied a variety of topics, hands on with experiments, some of which she came up with herself, conducted with assistance,  and recorded her findings. She has also learned through her own exploration, as well as some reading/research.  Starting with her first unit at age 2: Butterflies. And yes, she still remembers it. She can tell you all about the anatomy and the probiscus and their behaviors.  Their life cycles. She had studied the human body: knows her bones and the different organs we have and why. She studied weather.  She studied plants outdoors and knows how to identify them. She is currently studying birds.  She is beginning to read maps.  She knows geological features.....
Okay. Seriously.  At this point do I have to go on?  I think I've made it pretty clear we have better things to do than worksheets that correct her hand writing!!!!!!!!

Between reading,  playing, doing art-preparing for her gallery, and being in the great outdoors hiking different areas and studying their wildlife.  Learning to canoe or rock climb.  Meeting new people at the Appalachian Trail shelters and listening to their stories.....Who has the time to correct a 6 year old's writing? Sure, I've mentioned it in passing. She corrects it that time. But it hasn't clicked with her yet and that's okay.  Why harp on her when it will get fixed in its own time?

Oh. That's right. Because some people think children can't possibly learn things without someone consistently pointing out their mistakes and grading their every move.

Some people are so ignorant that they call this negligent parenting,  but It. Is. NOT. We are sticking to our philosophy of education. Negligence would be me not helping her on anything ever because I don't feel like it and not caring what she ever learns.  But do you really think at 7 or 8 years old,  once she reaches the age of reason,  with an average brain and good home life,  she won't realize by then which way is the correct way?  Who here thinks at 30 years old she will be writing checks with a backward 2 on them?

Good Lord. The nerve of some people.  To think just because she "lacks" in one area-AKA-"isn't ahead in" her math,  does not me she doesn't have rich experience in other areas. Academic or not. And they may not be on the government's "educational timeline," But who cares?  That changes every year anyway, so why can't we make our own?

And another thing,  just real quick.  I'm tired of family not having anything to do with S's education because they don't agree with it. She never gets asked what she is working on.  Nobody goes to her events. Nobody cares to teach her things-except my MIL-It is like the elephant in the room.  They ask my brother how school is and skim right past asking Samantha anything.  Urg.

Anyway,  it is getting time for S to wake up and I have laundry to fold. Forget all that. We are going to spend our day reading the Kit book and writing out a newspaper for her Daddy,  who actually cares about her day. Then a playdate outside with her friend,  Emma. Wonder what they will teach each other today.