Things I Don't Like About Homeschool

Well, we've been at it going on 13 years, and I finally found something I don't like. Two somethings, actually. 

1. Friendships CAN be hard for your kids to maintain when they are young if you are not close to the parents. (However, maybe I should correct this to say, "Things I don't like about homeschool if you don't do a co-op.") So many families are busy with this and that, so if you aren't close to the Mom, it's hard to ask them to take time out of their schedule to get together. Thankfully, Little S has plenty of friendships between the church and the Moms I am close to. However, there is one particular little girl from a large family that she really enjoys being around from when she was younger, but we are not close and we are no longer in the same community. It's hard to navigate situations like that. 

Something similar happened with Big S when she was little. We were very close to the parents of one of her friends. Then one day, they literally said, "We have too much going on. We don't have time for playdates anymore." And that was that. Big S never hung out with that friend again. That was 8 years ago. 

It's a minor inconvenience. I imagine it might be difficult to navigate friendships outside of school too,  it's still a thing I don't like.  

2. You have to look for extra opportunities to give your child independence. (And some moms don't have the desire to do so. In those cases you appear to be a neglectful parent.) Like when your teen organizes their own coffee meet ups and sleepovers and you don't ever even talk to the parent. Some Moms appreciate this. Others, not so much. Or when you say, "Hey. I was gonna drop her at Panera on Wednesdays to let her do her own thing. She would love if so n so could also come hang out and they can do work together." And they are like, "WHAT? ALONE? But they are only 15!"

Now, I was not 15 that long ago, but I remember walking here and there down the road ALL BY MYSELF at that age. We were home alone all Summer. We walked to see friends, to go to the pool, or just to rent a movie. (Maybe I am dating myself a bit here. It was right in the tail end of the movie rental store era.)

And you know, that may or may not be how I ended up with Big S, but that's neither her nor there. Sometimes I am concerned about Big S's lack of interest in doing anything remotely risky. It feels like a right of passage to make dumb decisions now instead of later. But then, maybe I am wrong. 

I am there during the day. I am there at night. I am there volunteering at camps and classes because that is what is needed to make things run. Because I am not gone every single day for 8 hours during Summer break and she hasn't been navigating the school hallways alone since she was 5 years old, I have to intentional figure out ways to give that independence. It begins with being home alone, navigating the church without your parents, going outside on your own to walk the neighborhood. At some point though, it leads to taking up volunteer opportunities on your own, riding with friends to the restaurant after acting class, and taking yourself to your own activities. Sometimes that all just doesn't seem like enough. 

Again, a minor inconvenience that I actually think is a generational issue and not just homeschoolers. Parents are terrified of the world. I can be overbearing sometimes too, but my desire to have her be a functioning adult one day overrides that fear a majority of the time. I have seen too many before mine (homeschooled and not homeschooled alike), that are so lost after graduation. It's actually alarming. These days, to counter that, I feel myself overcompensating and almost pushing the bird out of the nest. 😂 

After this many years, I can honestly say I could list things I love about homeschooling all night. I know my girls could too. Since that's the case, I know we made the right decision for our family. But, for the sake of transparency, THOSE are my 2 downsides.